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Isaias

isaias-20202161651-goes16-abi-se-geocolorThe rains have come. Hurricane Isaias is barreling up the east coast…..causing all sorts of havoc. We react to such things the way we do with most things. To those not directly affected with danger, it’s “well we needed the rain” and that’s that.  To those in peril, it’s hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. After all, it is 2020. They ain’t expecting anything but chaos. I just wish those not personally affected by any kind of danger, be it violence or poverty or sickness or extreme weather, were a bit more empathetic to those who are. It’s why so many of us have trouble sleeping at night, and don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. A sort of casual meanness that might even go unrecognized by the person being casually mean. To those of us who feel the hurt of others, it’s like being used as a voodoo doll. And it can creep in……that sort if disassociation. Insidiously. I could wall myself off, protected by assorted privilege. And perhaps get a better night’s sleep. And maybe I do sometimes. But then I see something….or hear something….or learn of yet another injustice. And it’s like instantly being re-thrust into Monty Python’s fish slapping dance. Jolted back to the way I was raised. To give a shit. Damn those good parents of mine. Damn then to heaven.

With Covid-19 wildly out of control right now, hurricane’s spawning tornadoes and flooding in the midst of it all seems dirty pool. Teachers and children prepare to…what? Return to school? Not return to school? Online? It seems madness to pile kids together on buses and in classrooms right now. We expect them to handle masks and social distancing when the grown-ups spectacularly failed at the same things? Sometimes it seems we’ve lost our collective minds. To all my teacher friends out there, whatever they’re paying you ain’t nearly enough. Anybody who doesn’t place all of you on a symbolic civil-war-type-statue pedestal should be forced to teach their own kids the new math.

(I’m checking the weather app on my phone, and it’s telling me that it is currently raining (true story), and that over the next few hours there is a an 100% chance it will continue, and at the same time projecting that overall the chance of rain today is 30%. Surely a bug, no? It’s these types of things that make me feel better about myself. We all suffer from impostor syndrome to some extent…..assuming that we’re in over heads in what we do, and are just kinda clinging to the ledge with fingers, desperate to hide our shortcomings. So whenever I think I’m about to be outed at my job for stunning lack-of-qualification fraud, I think of something like this weather app and the folks who developed it and think, “well…..I think I’m kinda like a resident of Lake Woebegone…..slightly above average…so maybe I won’t fall and die”.  Not sure why I felt the need to share this but then, there you are.)

I’m thinking of friends today…..the ones who have helped me get through this. The ones who’ve been checking in and working alongside me remotely. The ones who are helping me feel connected to something other than the walls of my house. Some nights I’ll sit out on the porch and carry on multiple text conversations at once…..sharing this and that and sometimes just saying “I’m doing ok I think, thanks for checking in.” Mundane things mostly, because that’s what we miss the most. The kind of things you mumble to each other over while elbow to elbow at the bar. Our kids. Our work. Our music. “Let me buy you one. No, I got this one. Put your money away”.

I’m trying to make music. But I don’t want to do it alone. So I’ve been reaching out to others. Friends. Co-writing. Trading tracks. Building new songs from the ground up. Again, desperate to feel connected when everything seems intent on keeping us apart.

This storm has killed people. Destroyed lives. It’s currently cutting a swath up the coast. And when it’s over folks will get back up and have at it again. They’ll rebuild. Because there are multiple fights going on right now. And no one can afford to lay down and not get back up again.

And if there’s a way any of us can help, we should find it.

In a bit..

–tf

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