TomFlannery.com

Gun sales flourish when people are scared. When fear is good for business, you can bet your ass you’re gonna get bludgeoned with it, Madison Ave style. Bad guys lurking anywhere, everywhere, ready to crash through your front door….at any time….to ruin your day and laugh at your sorry-ass godless Soros-loving liberalness. And just as these non-white personages are about to shoot you in the face and then ravage your wife, you’ll suddenly pray (like a foxhole atheist) to be saved by the card-carrying AR-15 toting red-hat wearing NRA member next door, white as a Wimbledon outfit, making America great again and then whistling dixie past your political yard sign promoting some anti-gun communist who supports those woefully misguided Florida kids who sat there dumb and unarmed and watched their friends get slaughtered like hogs.

It’s Cowboys and Indians. Black vs White. God vs the Devil. Liberty-lovers vs the socialist hordes who want to give away horrible things like health care and education, and keep things that aren’t rightfully theirs, like social security.

They know they’re full of shit. You know they know they’re full of shit. And deep down inside their Foxilized brains, they know you know they’re full of shit. And yet….

Here we are.

Follow the money, you dumb git.

If fear makes you rich, you can convince yourself of just about anything.

And if you’re convinced, your marketing department goes batshit.

So Donald Trump is Jesus, and Mike Pence is the ass he rides into Jerusalem on. Trump’s Sermon’s on the Mount are a bunch of 4th grade level Tweets that would embarrass the balls off any self-respecting English teacher. And an NRA that sees no hypocrisy regarding their convention, presumably filled to the brim with potential “good guys with guns”, not allowing any of these patriots to actually bring their guns into the building because the Secret Service decreed that one of them might accidentally shoot the President. No word on whether the Secret Service had to pry said guns from anybody’s cold-dead hands. I suspect they surrendered meekly. After all, the edict came from God…..albeit a deity who announced that he wasn’t afraid of the NRA and then proceeded to verbally fellate them until the room collectively nutted. We live in interesting times, Bubba. Being a God ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.

(I’ll say this publicly, and the arguments against me in the comments section will specifically invoke Obama and Hillary, even though last I checked both of them are gainfully unemployed.

Obama because he’s….well, you know……

And Hillary because she got more votes than tiny fingers, and married the anti-Christ. And is, well…..you know….how shall we say?….sans a penis. Even a tiny one.

It ain’t much, but it’s worked so far so why not?)

The President of the United States publicly decreed that any negative coverage of him is “fake”, not because it’s not true, but because it’s negative. And that inane tweet barely registered on the Richter scale that tracks his non-golfing hours because it was only about the 18th stupidest thing he’d said and done this week. Quite frankly, his dumbness and petty-meanness has overwhelmed news organizations around the world, and space limitations are forcing them to pick and choose, based on a silliness quotient, apparently.

It ain’t everyday the President nominates an admitted torturer to lead the CIA, after all. And when a noted Republican Senator who just happens to be the most famous torture survivor in the world publicly condemns the nomination, the White House joked that they didn’t give a shit because John McCain, suffering from brain cancer, would be dead soon anyway. But just in case he lived too long they sent an attack dog to Tass….er….Fox News to spread the long-ago debunked lie that McCain cracked under his torture and aided the enemy. Disgusting, vile, fucking reprehensible, and nobody really batted an eye. Because this is the new normal. There is no bottom. These people will dig themselves to China, that is as long as the President’s deferment-earning bone-spurs hold up.

Ho hum. The new normal. All this while the wife of the President of the United States manages not to spit through her nose as she publicly unveils her anti-cyber bullying initiative with language once again pilfered from the previous First Lady. If you blink too often you miss this stuff, truly. And I didn’t even mention Rudy Giuliani yet.

America’s Mayor, who believe it or not showed actual empathy and leadership skills in the wake of 9/11, has apparently been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by a cyborg made from spare parts found in Steve Bannon’s garage. America’s Mayor has turned on a dime into America’s worst lawyer, a man who somehow managed to defend his client by admitting his clients guilt on national television to a shocked and stuttering Sean Hannity, who suddenly looked like Max Von Sydow after collapsing dead on Linda Blair’s bed. It was spellbinding television, made even better when the next day Trump rolled over Rudy’s head with the Presidential bus…saying his lawyer would soon have his “facts straight”. Good advice for your lawyer, eh?

And if you’re keeping score (I’m not), scared white people have called the cops on black people over the last few weeks for..

1. sitting in a Starbucks
2. being a student and sleeping in a common room at Yale University
3. being an airbnb guest leaving their rental with their suitcases

I could go on, but why bother?

God Bless America.

In a bit…

–tf