TomFlannery.com

We’ve only got a few more days with an adult in charge, so enjoy the security while it lasts, bubba.
Rationality is about to leave the building, replaced by the arrogance and whims of a petulant, overweight, tiny-fingered man-child with a giant hard-on for shirtless dictators and the vocabulary of a 4th grader who spent two years in 3rd grade. Don’t blame me. I didn’t vote for this preening shithead. But in a democracy, or whatever it is you call it when you can get the most votes and still lose, this sort of thing can happen. Welcome to America. Or as it will soon be known, the place where nobody has any health insurance because those who need it the most vote for the guy who promises to take it away from them. We may still be the greatest nation on earth, but we sure as shit can’t lay claim to being the smartest. Before Trump, George Bush was universally regarded as the dimmest bulb to ever light the Oval office. In comparison to the guy about to move in, Bush was a fucking Rhodes scholar…a shining beacon on a hill. And I actually miss him. He was, at least, a grown-up.

The Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Toby Keith are ready to rock the capital, followed by some kid who didn’t win America’s Got Talent….and a band called 3 Doors Down, whom I’ve never heard of but I presume are way better than Ted Nugent, who for some reason wasn’t invited. Neither was Kid Rock, another talented performer. Not sure who’s in charge of entertainment, but if Trump makes waterboarding legal….this person might be a great pilot program.

Even the people who voted for Trump are starting to hate his guts. He enters the White House with approval ratings already between his legs….and with his astounding propensity for making bad situations worse, inauguration day is really shaping up to be nothing more than the start of an inevitable death march. He’ll either be impeached or quit. Anybody who thinks this guy is gonna lay around his tower for 4 or 8 years, surrounded by the Secret Service, eating taco bowls, watching Fox, and tweeting about rigged polls while his angry white base makes do with self medicating and beating up the odd Mexican….well, they don’t understand the average dumb American voter. Fool me once. Hell…fool me twice. But….as George Bush once sorta tried to say….”well….we won’t get fooled again”. That’s wall is gonna be expensive Jethro….but try not to pay attention to that tax collector behind the curtain.

Truth be told, the man is fucking doomed. American history is filled with bad Presidents. Rascals. Rogues. Criminals. Failed actors. But never has such a certified idiot taken the reigns. Never has a man been more innately unprepared for a job that requires, if not intellectual brilliance, at least a modicum of intellectual curiosity. I know lots of people who voted for him. They did so for a variety of reasons, none of them exactly noble, but if propaganda didn’t work all the propagandists would be out of work. And while they are loathe to openly admit they made a mistake, that day is gonna come, believe me. As sure as the day Mexico returns the bill for the wall with the words “fuck you” scribbled next to the “return to sender” stamp on the envelope….or the day they get sick and can’t pay their medical bills. Trump voters these days seem confused and stunned, like a duck hit over the head. It ain’t everyday the guy you just voted for is alleged to be such a fan of golden showers. It’s not the most promising of beginnings. More like the guy who trips and face-plants on the first hurdle in the Olympic final.

Enjoy the shit show bubba, ’cause it ain’t gonna last.

That’s the good news….or the bad news, if you think…say….three years of a brown-shirt like Mike Pence is gonna make America great again. If so, I’ve got some lowered health care premiums to sell you….

It’s the final countdown….which reminds me of that Geico commercial with the band “Europe”……rocking the lunch room with their latest hit, looking all the world like potential Trump inauguration headliners. How nobody picked up on this is beyond me. I wish someone had asked me.

In a bit..

–tf