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“I wish I knew how to quit you…”

Welp. He’s been impeached. Again.

If you really think about it, he could have been impeached weekly, so it seems he got off easy.

Republicans who swallowed gasoline so they could piss it on Trump’s dumpster fire are now calling for “unity and healing”, as if finding common ground with the incel wearing the “Camp Auschwitz” t-shirt is what’s now required to save our democracy. Rapey wrestling coach Jim Jordan is chief among this crowd, and is fast gaining on Mitch McConnell as the most despicable shithead on Capitol Hill.

Banned from just about every social media platform without a large KKK presence, and too cowardly to actually do what President’s are supposed to do, which is to use the White House briefing room, Trump has resorted to making what appear to be hostage videos, looking like he’s desperately holding in a shit as he reads the words crafted by somebody else…..under strict orders not to hate-riff on his own and blurt out that he’s gonna own the libs by pardoning the shirtless flag-faced viking head and khakis guy currently in prison and insisting on organic food, because “muh rahts”. Even as Trump mocks his mob of supporters as “low class”, he just can’t help feeling that Brokeback Mountain thing in his loins….quietly weeping in front of “Fox and Friends” every morning as aides work on his weave, muttering “I wish I knew how to quit you…”

There are currently more US troops in Washington DC to protect our nation from its own President and his violent supporters than there are in Afghanistan.

There’s evidence that a few lawmakers held trumper terrorist seminars the day before the riot, so the boys could get their directional bearings. That doesn’t sound too much like treason, does it?

In the wake of the coup, metal detectors have been set up at the entrance to the house chamber, and the law and order crowd are refusing to abide by them, unwilling to put themselves through what school kids are forced to put up with daily, on account of lawmaker cowardice in the face of the big bad NRA. If my kid refuses to pass through one, he can’t go to school. If a batshit congressperson refuses, the Capitol Police stand down (seeing a pattern here?), and are subject to verbal abuse in the process, which I’m sure they would put up with from a random black person.

Meanwhile, the hallway is filled with sleeping national guard troops sent to keep these brainiacs from being killed by the crazed supporters of the President they have enabled for 4 years. The ones who chanted “hang Mike Pence” repeatedly as they rummaged through the capitol looking for him to do just that.

Nothing to see here. Just your average, everyday banana republic.

It was never about “support the blue”. That was just symbolic gibberish, like the flag pin on your lapel (John Prine called you out for that nonsense 40 years ago). If the “blue” happen to be inconveniencing them, they’re tossed aside as quickly as the children of immigrants.

The job of the “blue” for these people is to keep their knees on the necks of the same people they hate. As long as the relationship stays that cozy……it’s as black and white as red white and blue.

But start applying the rule of law to these “Patriots”? That’s when the face paint and the flags come out, if not that masks. That’s when the cops start tumbling down the capitol steps while being beaten with flag staffs and fire hydrants.

Ironic that masks might not only have protected these clowns from Covid, but also federal penitentiaries. It’s pretty hard to not arrest you if you insist on real-time photographic evidence of your crimes…..featuring your faces and your live-streamed voices. Perhaps you could have gotten away with kicking your feet up on Pelosi’s desk if you were wearing an N95 mask. And it wasn’t hanging under your chin. I feel like I need to reiterate that part. Alas, the “hoax” is gonna bite you on the ass again. A prison uniform awaits. And quite possibly a ventilator.

If this wasn’t wasn’t reminiscent of that communion line of Jim Jones Guyana kool-aid drinkers, it’ll do until something better comes along.

We’re doomed.

In a bit..


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