Home > Uncategorized > Quarantine Diaries – Day 50 (Killer hornets and “Waterfall”)

Quarantine Diaries – Day 50 (Killer hornets and “Waterfall”)

Day 50.

killerhornetsIn which we learned that “Killer Hornets” have now reached the US, which should calm plenty of frazzled nerves, eh? As a child I once tripped over a hollowed-out tree trunk, and was swarmed by thousands of regular old hornets, a kind that sure seemed murderous enough to me at the time. I ended up being stung all over my body….hundreds of times. And I mean ALL OVER my body. They were flying out of my pants and underwear. I’ve despised these things ever since…..and now I’m just learning of the Stephen King variety, which is just great. I’m sure I’ll sleep well this evening.

Also, it was near 80 degrees yesterday, a temperature which has been cut in half today, because of course it has. Combined yet again with the now normal NEPA Oz-like winds, and the type of dark clouds that seem to follow you the way that helicopter followed Ray Liotta in the scene from Goodfellas, and you had the combination for a shit day. When part of the daily entertainment is looking out the window to catch the exact moment the neighbor’s tree might fall on your house (not yet…..), it’s time to start drinking. So I went to buy beer and had to get a warm case because the distributor’s cooler had broken down. Because of course it had.

Also, there’s a recall on my car because of a faulty fuel pump that could cause a “sudden stall or hesitation at high speed”, which is the vehicular equivalent of murder hornets.

So I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.

Last night I drove past an ice cream shop, and there must have been 50 people in line. Maybe 10 of them had masks on. The rest were lined up in each other’s pockets, social distancing be damned…each of them apparently quite willing to die and/or kill for a large swirl with sprinkles. Combine this with lines of non-essentials yesterday at Lowe’s that looked like 80s era ticketmaster queues for Springteen tickets, and I didn’t exactly get a warm and fuzzy that this thing is gonna fade away when the state re-opens. If a pandemic is a long single lane tunnel, the light at the end of it is only reachable when the dumbest of us gets there. The rest are stuck behind, with nothing but Martha and the Vandellas on the radio for company. Nowhere to run to baby…nowhere to hide.

And I’m telling you….if this thing spikes again…..and they order us back indoors, the sort of whiny “Wolf is a nazi blah blah blah MAGA” facebook posts are gonna turn into mass disobedience. People have gone from scared to pissed-off…..and phase II will be damned. Once quarantine is lifted, we gotta live with the consequences.

Next Saturday it may snow, so at least the lines for the ice cream place will be smaller. Sometimes you gotta find your own good news. Buckle-up buttercup, ’cause we’re about to see the “we must hang together or we will surely hang separately” maxim played out in real time.

Musically I spent the day with the Stone Roses, and realized that as great as Noel Gallagher was (and is), he’s never been as great as “Waterfall”. And it must have driven him crazy that he knew he never would be, because “Waterfall” is one of the great pop songs of my lifetime…..with a guitar hook that I would gladly submit myself to another batch of raging hornets to have come up with, or even be able to play. The Stone Roses are one of those legendary rock and roll bands that take over the world (or at least Britain) and excess themselves to death almost simultaneously. A near flawless first record followed by a spotty second, and then drugs and acrimony and lawsuits and not being able to be in the same room together without punching each other in the face. A few one-off “reunion” shows when the bill collectors got too close, but that’s about it. As the years go by the legend grows and “Waterfall” becomes even more epic. It’s one of the only songs I know of that was released in the 1980s…….and sounds like it was released in the 1980s, but doesn’t sound dated. Which makes no sense whatsoever but then again writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

I think Abraham Lincoln said that.

In a bit..


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