TomFlannery.com

AN OPEN LETTER TO ALL WHO BLAME OBAMA FOR…WELL….EVERYTHING

I feel your pain. Truly. But soon it will be over. Two more years. Then all will be right again in your world. Your grass will start growing again and we might invade a middle eastern country or two. For old times sake.

Unless.

You know what I’m going to say. Unless Hillary is our next president.

If that happens, you are all doomed. Because she has a long memory. She is PISSED. And your will pay. Dearly. You will look back on Obama’s two terms as the good old days. Nothing more than an extension of the cracker policies of George W Bush. I’m sorry that Obama is a black man. But, well, that’s the way these things go. He’s the whitest black man in the country. Small comfort for you fellas, but there it is. Hillary’s hubby was blacker than Obama. Don’t blame me because you are too dumb to realize this. Obama has more in common with Nixon than he does with James Brown. You people are fools. When he’s gone you’re gonna be writing blues songs about him.

But back to Hillary. She is going to CREATE new government agencies just to fuck with you. Your guns? Gone. Your religion? Ha! She’s gonna tax your church parking lots. She’s coming for you Bubba. You never thought it would come to this when that skank was giving head to Hillary’s husband did you? Of course not. But karma is a bitch. And so is our next President. She is going to make you squeal like Ned Beatty from “Deliverance”. And when she’s done with you, George Orwell is gonna feel like Mister Rogers.

You people think you know how to HATE? Bah. She will school you like the varsity beating the JV. She will beat on you like a gong until you scream “enough”. And only then will you be tossed into Guantanamo Bay. Without charges. For years. Or at least 2 terms, since you fools have forgotten you need an actual candidate to beat her over the next 6 years. Who you got?

Hillary travels the world now, refusing to remove her sunglasses. Like Bono. And make no mistake. She considers herself Bono’s equal in every way, which should TERRIFY you. She considers her critics as Bono considers his. Like shit on the shoe. Enemies to be scraped off. Dumb mutants who don’t know they are being set up like watermelons on a shooting range.

Hide your guns. She has a freakish breed of top secret dogs that will burrow through your flower beds and find them. I’ve seen the Power Point presentations. Reagan’s “Star Wars” presentation looks like it was put together by amateurs in comparison. This is serious business. Your tax dollars at work. Ever hear of a boomerang? Look it up bubba. These dogs are meaner than half starved Australian dingos. And the Fox News logo makes them CRAZY. Like Pavlov’s mutts. But way more cynical. Save time and start practicing throwing rocks at each other, because anything heavier is gonna be illegal. She’s gonna melt down your guns and use then to create statues of Chelsea outside of every public school in the nation. Private schools? You and Jesus and the flag? Ha! Find a good cave. And beware of informers. They are everywhere.

I know this sound bad. But really, it’s worse. Did you expect any different? Did you ever read the drivel your masters have written about this woman? This crazed lesbian murderer? You waved a cum splattered dress in her face. You shit in her homemade cookies. You made fun of her assorted hair styles. The bitch of Benghazi.

She will crush you like grapes. After all, she’ll be the President of the United States. That’s her JOB.

We can call Sarah Palin a crazy lunatic bitch because even you brain damaged fools wouldn’t pull a lever with her name on it. You are twisted but you are survivors. Props to you. And you’ve turned Ronald Reagan, a man dumber than a fruit fly, into a mythic American hero. I underestimate you at my own peril.

But you’ve really given yourself an enema on this one. Hillary is meaner than you are. And even worse, she’s SMARTER. She picks fools like Palin out of her teeth every morning.

And soon she’ll have the IRS at her fingertips. And homeland security. And the armed forces. And the FCC. I won’t even discus what happens when old sissies like Scalia start dropping dead of mysterious causes. Guess who is gonna replace him on the Supreme Court? Odds are 2 to 1 on Ellen Degeneres. Not that there’s anything wrong with that eh?

Good luck Bubba. Eight years of boots on your face might not leave permanent scars. Hell, Ned Beatty looked totally normal once he pulled his pants up. He just never ate bacon again.

In a bit.

–tf