TomFlannery.com

Well, all sorts of things. Regrets mostly. Pretty much a wasted year musically. Wrote about a dozen songs, but didn’t take a serious stab at recording any of them. Gave some away. Threw some away. Some are keepers, but to let them go felt wrong. Bad timing….perhaps because they drew on some bad times. Guitar sat in the corner much of the year, dusted off for one-off gigs here and there and then put right back. Absolutely no momentum was generated. My father’s passing early in the year really knocked the stuffing out of me. Writing didn’t make me feel good. It made me feel sad.

Watching Alzheimer’s disease crawl all over someone is a dreadful sight. There’s nothing spiritual or uplifting about “the fight”. The ending is pre-ordained. There are no survivors. There’s no redemption. It’s cruel and unusual punishment doled out to folks who don’t deserve it. The randomness of misplaced brain wires.

Ironically, all we have left is memories, the very things the disease stole from my father. This can surely turn one cynical, especially one prone to cynicism under blue skies. And so yes, I allowed anger to get the best of me and turned it inward, intentionally not doing what I love to do best to spite something or someone that I don’t even believe in.

But enough is enough. It’s Christmas time. My girls are bouncing around the house like they’re on invisible pogo-sticks, happy and healthy and counting down the minutes until they get to dive into the pile on Saturday morning. Advance word from Santa is that they’ve been pretty good. He’s been mum on me.

I’m currently writing new lyrics like crazy. Keeping up on my blog with Mike Stevens, and have sketched out a new play. I’m hoping 2011 brings no more regrets, a tunnel-full of words, and maybe a few good songs that’ll earn me a billion dollars. I promise I’ll give away half.

In a bit..

–tf